All Alone

Since Matthew's been gone I've been trying my hardest to keep busy. As soon as he left I had the cable shut off. I was afraid of developing an addiction to the television. What an awful addiction that would be, addiction to Ice Cream is bad enough. Just think how terrible it would be if you were addicted to the television. Instead of moving, or working, or doing anything worth while you would just sit and watch trash all day. I wonder why they call it a couch potato? I really don't think it's fair to Idaho and their fabulous potatoes. So, it was decided that I would stay busy, but not too busy. I soon realized that I had to pace myself in fear that I would finish all my projects too quickly. Is that really possible? Probably not, but I took precautions anyway. My husband left and our house appeared as if a whirlwind had come through and found everything in the house that did not belong to me and dumped it into our living room. I love my husband so very much! That's exactly what I kept telling myself as I was evaluating the damage caused by last minute packing and last minute projects. I have grown to realize that anything that starts with the phrase "last minute" can't be good. One of my life long goals is to become a "first minute" person instead of a "last minute person." I do realize that doing things the first minute is asking a bit much. I would settle for doing things the last hour instead of minute. When I get really stressed I get kinda weird. For example if I lost something important and I can't find it. I start tearing the house apart, my brain starts racing, then to calm my brain down I begin counting. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 . . . again and again. I don't count slowly either. So now that I have shared that information you all probably think I'm crazy. That's all right it's better to be a little bit crazy then 100% sane all the time.